Uhm, “love is….sending your exes (??)!random-ass fucking texts…(lordyGDjesuscriissssT)
Chesticle Funbags would like to formally request a drinking photo with Busty. I feel it needs to happen.
ALSO: Mara and I suggested finding some nametags so we can all wear our FR names…
BECAUSE IT IS FR SEASON.
Zodiac Files: How To Seduce A Leo.
Again. Fuck horoscopes…but I’ll be damned if this isn’t the most accurate thing I’ve ever heard ever.
GODDAMN COUPLES WALKING THEIR DOGS.
Diabetes: You’re doing it wrong.
(Note: All this shit went into just TWO cups of coffee. No refills.)
I just want GrubHub to deliver to my window.
“Come too maaah wiiindooow”
OK, calm the fuck down Pita Crackers;
-“Distinctly shaped”?? You mean, “Distinctly TRIANGLE?”
-“Make even the simplest dips taste special”?? Yeah, because that dip’s self-confidence is a MAJOR life-priority.
-Also, those “Carefully selected seasonings” resemble a damn pizza-flavored HotPocket.
Let’s get it straight TownHouse: These ain’t even made from Pita. They’re somewhere between Wheat Thins, Cheez-Its, and Pepperoni Combos. (Only, NOT because what I listed would taste AWESOME.)
Just market what you TRULY are:
Another Damn Dippy Thing.