I have a good friend in Cali who has recently garnered quite a bit of success and attention as a Beachbody coach (the people who brought you P90x, Insanity, 21DayFix, etc…). She’s a lovely blonde with a slender figure and since starting her journey, she’s gotten BUFF (and looks even greater than before). As a coach, part of her job is posting daily affirmations and fitspo selfies from the comfort of her living room. One day I was approaching her about being a coach and I said,
"You make it look so easy…like you just Instagram food and bikini pics and workout all day! But I know it’s more than that…"
"I mean, actually Nicole, that’s 90% of what I do."
…fuck. That sounds awesome. And motivating. And I want to quit my job and join you.
But I digress.
Today she posted a photo of herself in Nike Fit shorts and a sports bra with the caption:
"I am obsessed with becoming a woman who is confident in her own skin."
And seeing her say that half-naked in front of thousands on Facebook was mighty effective.
And then startling.
I am a size 14.
But I’ll be goddamned if the fact I can’t wear Nike Fit shorts is going to make me any less confident in my own skin.
I’ll attribute this all to my beautiful mother. I realize that my confidence comes from her, and my father, who always told me I was beautiful and talented. They said “Who cares??” about the kids who used to tease me for being chubby. I know that everyone wasn’t as lucky, so I’ll say it to you all now:
You are all beautiful.
You are all talented.
You are intelligent.
You can do whatever you set your mind to and the size of your pants does not determine your worth or how much confidence you should have “in your own skin.”
It is the only skin you’ll ever own. It is all you’ll ever need. Learn to want yourself.
Fuck anyone who says otherwise.
And FUCK FITSPO.
Fitspo says you aren’t good enough. That you’d be “better” if you were the beautiful girl in the photo. That you’re a horrible lazy ugly person if you’re not glistening with sweat and kicking your ass daily.
I have my own personal health reasons to want to lose weight, and get in better shape. But telling me confidence comes from walking around naked with a six-pack is baseless and injurious.
It is my own confidence in myself that drives me to be faster, stronger, and healthier than before. We should encourage people who are down on themselves with the gifts they already possess.
And if that’s not their prerogative, then that’s not their prerogative. But don’t say they can’t be “confident in their skin”…
I’m sad you didn’t have the confidence before the biceps.
But it is not, and should not be that way for everyone.